The Marauder Chronicles
by Veralidaine
Summary: Part I - Our favorite four boys, at age eleven, and the very first stunt they decide to pull as a group. What WILL happen? Review, if you would, but I won't beg. ^-^


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Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing except for the plotline, and that's not exactly something brilliant.

A/N: Just a little cure for Writers' Block while I work on my many unfinished series that are, apparently, in high demand. An idea originally brought on by my dear sister, who gets credit here for the inside scoop on being eleven (which is too far back for my overloaded brain to remember properly) and for reminding me of the fascination with the other bathroom. Honestly, the situations she wants to put these poor boys into… ^-^

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The Marauder Chronicles

Part I - The Walls are Pinker on the Other Side of the Door…

Where, exactly, the decided need to be naughty had come from, the four first years weren't entirely sure. But it came, sure as the owl post did every morning, and it wasn't long before a plan was hatched to satisfy this rather odd idea.

The problem with being eleven is that one finds it absolutely fascinating to contemplate what, exactly, goes on behind closed doors. Specifically those which you aren't allowed to pass through. Even more specifically, those which _you_ aren't allowed to pass through, but members of the opposite sex _are_. And so it was that one Sirius Black - tall, thin, and an ickle firstie - hatched his plan.

It was well known that the bathroom doors at Hogwarts were given a special charm that recognized only those permitted to enter, and refused to admit others. This was instated, obviously, to keep exactly what the "marauders," as they called themselves, were planning to do from happening. The charms were installed in the early 1940s, when the professors finally tired of dragging little boys out of the girls' lavatories, hearing the same excuse of "I didn't know it was the girls', honest!" And so, the doors were charmed, incidents like this decreased, and the only way to get inside a bathroom you weren't supposed to be in was if you were a girl, or if a girl opened it for you. Or, if the door never quite shut and latched.

Obviously, the boys found out quickly that the doors wouldn't open for them. They had gone to asses the situation one Thursday afternoon, and James had tried ramming down the door to the one on the east end of the charms corridor about sixteen times when Sirius grabbed his shirt collar mid-gallop, nearly choking his friend. "You know, James, I don't think you can get in that way."

"Yes, have you tried pulling?" Remus said dryly. Remus was cautious and rule-abiding "prefect material," as Sirius had declared, and he did a good job, on most occasions, of keeping James and Sirius from doing stupid things that could get them expelled. Currently, though, his dark eyes looked amused. "Honestly, what's the point? It's probably just the same as ours."

"Yeah, and it's probably all pink and yukky," Peter added, hiking his robes up. They were a little too long on him and tended to get caught under his sneakers. 

"But it's the girls' lavatory!" Sirius gushed. "I mean, haven't you always wondered why they take so long in there? Maybe it's this really amazing room, with a swimming pool and lounge furniture..."

"And snack dispensers and exploding snap tables!" James had been very eager to be Sirius' partner-in-crime, and indeed, had been a big part of the planning.

"And naked girls!" Sirius said, a little too loudly in his excitement. The others shushed him, a bit red and embarrassed, looking round to make sure nobody had overheard. Sirius shrugged. He wasn't exactly sure yet _why_ he should be interested in naked girls, but he somehow knew that he should, and that was good enough for him.

Remus had recovered from the embarrassment of the moment previous, having realized that nobody was nearby, and had gone back to looking torn between disapproval and amusement. He had, after all, been unable to escape the inevitable wonderings of what, exactly, was behind that door with the little woman symbol plastered on it. And why girls took so long in there. "Well, we'll never get inside ramming our heads against it..." Here he looked at James, who shrugged, grinning. Clever as James and Sirius could be, sometimes they needed a little help when it came to formulating more than one plan, and James seemed glad to have another assistant in the planning, as the tactics he and Sirius had currently thought up were not getting very far at all.

Peter still looked unsure. "Won't we get into trouble?" His pudgy fingers twisted together anxiously. "I mean, Mum was so happy that I got in here, and if I get expelled..."

"Ah, you won't get expelled," James said cajolingly, slinging a skinny arm around Peter's shoulders. "This is nothing...This is - "

"Exploration and interest in the world around you," Sirius said sincerely. "That's a valid reason, isn't it? Teachers think that's a good thing." Sirius grinned. "So... How 'bout it?"

Remus was about to object that he didn't think "the world around them" stretched so far as the girls' lavatory, but Sirius and James silenced him with virtually the same _shut up! _look. And Remus, smirking in spite of himself, shut up. At the very least, it would be fun. And they weren't expellinghim anytime soon. Well, not for _this_, anyway... He'd gotten some very good marks so far, especially in Defense. For a first year, they'd told him, he was doing wonderfully.

Besides, maybe with his help, James and Sirius could tone it down enough to not get caught. "I'm in." He glanced at the shorter boy next to him. Peter was looking quite unhappy, and Remus almost felt like telling the other two to let Peter out of it, but then Peter surprised them by looking up suddenly and saying firmly, "Me, too."

*

Alyce Macmillian walked out of the girls' lavatory the next day, too preoccupied with the upcoming potions class, in which she had a large essay due, to notice the very quickly stopped door behind her. It appeared that a sneaker, on its own, had decided to stop that door from closing and, had anybody been looking, this would have seemed odd. Fortunately, it was Friday afternoon, and most students had more important things to do than to stare at the door to the Charms corridor girls' lavatory for signs of paranormal phenomena. 

"_Ouch!_" Sirius hissed. "James, that's my foot!"

"Yeah, well, _mine's_ jammed in the door, how d'you think _I_ feel?"

"Stoppit, both of you, or we'll get caught at this," Remus whispered and, taking a quick look around, stepped out from under the cloak. As soon as it was determined by Sirius that nobody was going to catch them, the cloak was thrown off, revealing the three other boys, squashed together, one of James' feet indeed on Sirius', the other wedged in the door, which was magically trying to close itself, and putting forth quite a good effort. 

Sirius immediately threw himself forward and put his back against the door, pushing with all his might and trying to keep it from slamming shut and forever barring them from the glory that was the inside of the girls' lavatory. After shoving the cloak into his pocket, where it bulged comically, James rushed to help, of course, and the door began to slowly give way. James, grunting, looked up at the other two boys, trying to get his sneakers some footing on the smooth stone floor. "Well, help us push, then!"

"Oh!" Peter immediately scurried over and pressed his back to the door, too. The addition of his weight to the job helped considerably, but they needed muscle more than anything, and Peter's short legs weren't doing the job. 

"Peter!" Sirius grunted from his position next to the handle (which was really starting to dig into his arm), "You be the lookout instead of Remus...Lupin, get your bum over here and help us push this open!"

Remus, ever the cautious one, waited until Peter had taken up his post at the nearest corner to watch for possible adults, prefects, or girls. Then he, too, hurried over to the door. Pushing Sirius aside, he took up the post nearest the door handle and pushed with all his might, getting footing on the edge of one of the stone floor panels. The door groaned open almost resentfully under their combined strength and the boys, holding their footing steady, allowed themselves a sigh of relief. 

"Wow," James said, panting under the stress of the door. "You're stronger than you look, Remus." Remus, however, said nothing and just shrugged. He didn't want to go into that at the moment.

"Yeah, or maybe he's just girly," Sirius responded, making James laugh and Remus shoot him a half-serious glare. "Right, so, I'm going in..."

Sirius slipped inside, and James was about to follow, when there came a small cry from the corner. "Somebody's coming! It's a _GIRL!_"

James turned quickly, and in doing so, caught Remus' left foot, which twisted and caused the taller boy to completely lose his balance. Remus fell straight down onto his rump and was pushed forward roughly as the door closed behind him, shutting with a small _click_.

Peter had come running from the end of the hallway. "Come on!" he hissed. "We have to get out of here!"

Remus sorely got to his feet, grumbling, a hand held on his aching lower back like an old man. He then discovered, upon trying to walk away, that when the door had shut, the hem of his robes had gotten caught. _Oh, bugger._

"But Sirius is trapped in there!" James hissed back. "It shut on accident!"

Peter paled. "Well..." he said after a moment, "Maybe he'll be alright... Didn't you both say that it was probably really nice in there?"

"Yeah, but what if it isn't?" James said, eyes widening behind those too-big round glasses of his. "What if they keep, like, a man-eating dragon in there? And I mean an _only_-man-eating dragon?"

All three boys stopped to contemplate this new development and possible horror as a small, amused voice said suddenly, "What _are_ you three doing?"

*

Inside the (horrible/wonderful) girls' lavatory, Sirius finally turned away from the door, which apparently couldn't be opened from the _inside_ by a boy, either, and took in his surroundings. 

Anything that wasn't stone was painted a sort of pastel pink, and the wall nearest was lined with five stalls. The wall opposite that contained three pedestal sinks. While the girls' lavatory was considerably cleaner and better cared-for (there were no graffiti messages or soggy mounds of toilet paper), it looked pretty similar to the boys'.

Such a disappointment.

Sirius sighed dispiritedly. So now, he was trapped in a smelly pink lavatory, with no exploding snap, no swimming pool, no lounge furniture, and, sure as hell, no naked girls.

*

"Uh…" James very obviously pulled the cloak out of his pocket, handing it behind him to Remus, who in turn handed it behind himself to Peter, with the unsaid instructions to run as fast as he could to Gryffindor tower and _hide that cloak_. And Peter jogged past the short redhead, ignoring the curious glance she sent him, simply glad for an escape route. So, this left James and Remus to explain to the Muggle-born, highly clever Miss Lily Evans just why, exactly, they were loitering next to the girls' lavatory door, with Remus' robes caught and identical guilty expressions on their faces.

"Uh…" James started again.

Remus decided that it was time to take matters into his own hands. He took a step forward to stand next to James, and this movement was accompanied by a loud ripping noise as the hem of Remus' robe tore partially off. Praying that his underwear would have remained concealed by the end of this little adventure, he cleared his throat politely and said, "I'm sorry, do you need to get to the lavatory?"

"Well, yeah," Lily said, blinking in surprise. "But you've not answered my question yet."

"We were, uhm…" Remus began, looking to James for help. James, however, was still looking at Lily nervously, as if she might decide at any moment to spring and sink her fangs into him. Remus just hoped that he wouldn't bolt and leave him alone, stuck in the door.

But James hadn't been sorted into Gryffindor for no reason at all. "Why's it your business?" he said, sounding far less imperious than he'd meant to. Truth be told, James was rather frightened at the moment, and the fact that Lily's bright green eyes wouldn't look away from him wasn't helping at all.

"Oh, it's not," Lily conceded, taking a step closer and causing both boys to retreat back against the door. "Except," she said softly, smiling and finally looking away from James to rest a green-eyed stare on Remus, "for the fact that I have to pee, and that you are in my way."

The "Ewww, gross!" died in James' throat. Professor McGonagall had just strode around the same corner from whence Lily came, and was standing, hands on her hips, looking at the group of them suspiciously. 

Lily spun around quickly. "Oh, Professor," she said, brightly. She shot the boys a look that quite clearly said, _You idiots; keep quiet and I'll get you out of this. _"I was just on my way to the lavatory, and ran into these two. James needed to know what our Charms homework was."

"Ah," Professor McGonagall said stiffly, completely unconvinced. "Well, they can go, then, can't they?"

"Of course," Lily said, and opened the door, releasing Remus and slipping inside. Remus and James looked at each other with wide eyes and then, at the angry _ahem_ from Professor McGonagall, skittered away from the door, past her, and around the now-familiar corner, where they waited and watched for their friend to emerge, probably being led by his ear to Dumbledore's office by Professor McGonagall.

*

Lily wasn't at all surprised to find Sirius Black in the girls' lavatory. James and Remus were never without him, and of course, she was able to guess the situation upon seeing what she had. She grabbed his wrist, shushing his questions, and shoved him in a stall, following quickly and latching the door behind her just in time to hear the door open. Then, of course, Black had the nerve to put a hand over her mouth to keep _her_ quiet. Boys, _honestly_.

Sirius absolutely froze upon hearing the familiar clicking of Professor McGonagall's boots on the stone floor. He caught Lily's eyes with his, was suddenly hit with the realization that she knew what was going on, and took his hand off her mouth. He was then somewhat torn between annoyance at the fact that a _girl_ was in on his plan (and a short, _girly_ one, at that), and gladness that at least he had some help and a way out of that dreadful place. 

"Miss Evans?" McGonagall's voice came from outside the stall. "Would you mind explaining what really happened?"

"Just what I said, Professor," Lily said in a completely convincing voice. Sirius watched in grudging admiration. "James wanted to know the charms homework, and Remus was walking with him. They were just about to leave when you came along."

"Where was Black; do you know?" Ah, so she'd picked up on that.

"Boys' lavatory," Lily lied absolutely seamlessly. "He stopped off there before we turned the corner." Sirius caught her eye and she offered a smile. 

"Hm." There was the sound of one of the taps being turned on, and then McGonagall spoke again. "Well, I'm sorry to have bothered you, Miss Evans. I shall see you in class."

"Yes, Professor." 

And the door shut. Lily shot Sirius a grin brighter than the sun and stuck her head out the door to make sure that the professor had, indeed, left. Sirius would have kissed her for joy at his avoided expulsion, but that would have been gross. 

Once all was decidedly clear, Lily beckoned Sirius out of the stall and regarded him amusedly, hands on her hips. "Why did you need to see the inside of the girls' lavatory?"

Sirius shrugged, jamming his hands in his pockets and grinning annoyingly. "I had to know."

Lily's green eyes raised to the ceiling in amusement and exasperation and, shaking her head, she pushed open the door and let Sirius out, once determining that nobody was watching. Then, as soon as the bathroom was boy-free, Lily snickered to herself and went about her original business, all the while thinking of how the four boys could possibly repay their debt to her for this.

*

And so, the four Marauders were vaguely disappointed, but the thrill of the adventure more than made up for it, and even better than that was the fact that they hadn't been caught. This charge in confidence and newfound love of excitement contributed to a long history of pranks, adventures and, yes, detentions, all starting with this one incident.

Incidentally, the charms on all of the lavatory doors were removed two years later when one Alyce Grimley (currently dating a Mr. Theodore Crabbe) and her friends shoved one Peter Pettigrew in without consent, trapping him there and preventing him from attending Transfiguration. This lead to further lavatory incidents, as we know, but not on the part of the Marauders. Well, not much, anyway.

And yes, Lily did get her debt repaid. It was a very painstaking, embarrassing incident for all four marauders, and as she'd intended, it was great fun for her to watch.

But that's another story.


End file.
